Thursday, February 3, 2011

Funeral procession/See ya when you're done

Colby and I left work together today to attend the funeral of a sweet lady from our ward. It was a beautiful service; a little different than I am used to, but very heartfelt and beautiful. I always leave funerals wishing I had known many of the things about that person before they were gone and I was sitting in their funeral.

Anyway, the funeral was in a small funeral home and Colby and I were on the aisle seats of the back row of the "friends side." At the end of the service the funeral director came up to me, crouched down and whispered what at first I thought were directions to go sit with the family. I was very confused and thought maybe she had thought we were family and since we snuck in at the last minute didn't take our correct seat and thought we would want to be with the family when they walked out. Nice gesture of her to do, only we aren't family...

She must have noticed my bewildered look as she repeated her directions and motioned for me to head to the front down the aisle to the family, then out. I was confused still but could sense her urgency to get me going. I figured they were just organizing an exit for everyone and taking us out the long way by way of the front to the back door as to not cause a traffic jam. I stood up and realized I really had no idea what was going on and that I was the only one walking up the aisle and people were beginning to turn and look at me. Luckily the funeral director nudged Colby to follow. I made eye contact with bishop who gave me the look of "what are you doing" and asked quietly if I was to head out to the left or right.
He didn't know.
Neither did I.
I chose left because I recalled the director mentioning family and they were all on the left. As I was walking past, it dawned on me that they were sending us out this way such that we could offer our condolences to the family. Yeah, I'm a little slow. Unfortunately, I was so flustered and didn't know who was family or not and felt all eyes on me on this small, quiet room that all I got out was a muttered, "I'm so sorry for your loss." Great. Of all times to get flustered? now? really? Great. I am almost positive it came out quite insincere.

Well instead of letting this eat at me all afternoon, I instead participated in a good laughing session with Colby in the car as we discussed how utterly awkward that was. Turns out he was just as confused as I was as was the guest leaving third in line. We have only been to funerals where the pallbearers and casket leave first, followed by family then guests. For all those attending our funeral in the very far future, just know you won't be faced with this same traumatic experience. Also know you will never see us in the back row of a funeral again.

At the risk of making this long post longer, I must share funny story numero two of the day.  As we returned back to work we both needed to rush to the restroom.  {Guzzling a water bottle while rushing to eat lunch before the funeral and walking in at 1:01 to a 1:00 funeral do wonders to a small bladder.} As Colby turned to go into the men's restroom I said, ok, see ya...when you're done.  He replied, okay, see ya then.  Because the walls in bathrooms as walmart home office are thin, I could hear a toilet flush in the men's room and hurried to wash my hands and make it out to meet him.  When I walked out, he wasn't out yet.  So I waited. And waited. And waited.  Now I was trying to figure out what was taking him so long.  He is usually pretty vocal about his, well, business, if its bad, and hadn't said anything prior to going in.  Odd.  But okay.  He must be taking longer than usual, I though.  The door slowly opened and I expected to see Colby. Nope.  A man headed into the restroom shortly.  A few minutes later, the same man came out.  No Colby.  I was getting impatient and wondering what the supplier in the supplier room across the hall were thinking of me, hanging out by the trashcans and bathroom. It had probably been 5 minutes and I was worrying--I was almost ready to have someone go in and check to see if Colby had fallen in, but then I realized that is being way to paranoid of a wife.  Instead I called his cell.  Here is our convo.

k: colby, where. are. you.?
c: i just logged back into my computer.  I'm at my desk.
k:oh my gosh. what? {laughing...} are you serious?
c:yeah. why? where are you.
k: I'm standing outside the bathroom, waiting for you.
c: oh my gosh. no way.
k: yeah. really.
. . .
Five minutes of my life--wasted.

Apparently when I said see you when you're done he took it as when you're done with work.  I meant it as done in the restroom.  Simple misunderstanding.  Good laugh. Glad I didn't barge into the men's restroom to make sure my husband hadn't been sucked down the pipes.

Looks like Colby and Katie have had their first "Merrill and Kalle" day.  (Something only my side of the family will understand...Uncle and Aunt with similar stories x 100 all too often) Hopefully its the last.


Courtney said...

Ummm, I thought you looked like you knew what you were doing. It took me a while to figure out what was going on too and I remember thinking that I was glad that you were up first so we could follow your lead!
ha ha

Rachael said...

I was totally thinking, "This is a Merrill and Kalle story" the whole time haha thats so funny